My study table sits in front of a window overlooking our housing complex. In “work from home” situations, this window becomes my escape route to the outside world. While taking periodic breaks from work, I would often indulge in people watching. With time, I started observing interesting patterns in the mundane.
For example, every morning around 9 am I will see a short, stout, smiling individual heading out for work. While making their way through the stone alley outside, the person will wave goodbye to their spouse, standing by the window of their second-floor residence. The exchange of goodbyes will continue till the person fades from view.
I found this gesture sweet. It also made me wonder why a person who just left home, bids goodbye to their loved one again from outside. And why does this practice persist till the person’s silhouette goes beyond the scope of eyesight? This is not a permanent goodbye, rather a daily one. Does it need to be this prolonged? It’s not as if the person will return after months. They will most assuredly be coming back a few hours later in the evening.
I realized, in retrospect, that me and my mother did the same thing when father used to leave for work every morning. He would walk a few meters outside our apartment and get into the car. We would wave him goodbye till the car was out of sight. Later, when I would rush out to catch the school bus, my mother would be there flapping her hands from the balcony until I disappeared.
So, it seems that our base emotions truly remain unfazed by the barriers of continents and cultures. This consistency in expressions of raw sentiments among individuals, otherwise extremely dissimilar in nature, fascinates me. And every time I can identify them, I try to find a comprehensible meaning behind its occurrence.
But, unsure about the subtle feelings operating behind these daily goodbyes, I started by thinking why I would do this for anyone. First and foremost, it is because of my love. I can hardly wait for them to come back. So irrespective of how busy my life is, I will use up that miniscule amount of time to non-verbally convey that they are valued. I will silently wish their safe travels and selflessly hope for their day to progress better than me. And this goodbye will prolong till their last sighting because internally I will always crave for “Arekbar jotota dekha jay” (translates from Bangla as “that longing to see them again and again, till it’s practically unfeasible”).
While I could express my own feelings in a reasonably articulate manner, my research to enunciate the nuanced instinct that induces daily goodbyes, fell a bit flat. I could only partially capture this delicate emotion by a Romanian word called “Dor”. “Dor” conveys the sense of yearning for someone without any real reason. It might stem from love or suffering, making it a happy, sad, or bittersweet word, with meanings different for every individual. Probably, the beautiful yet untranslatable “Dor” drives these daily goodbyes, making them both personalized and mysterious? Whatever it may be, it is perhaps better to stop uprooting my hairs in trying to spot the fundamental basis behind daily goodbyes and just accept the phenomenon as is.
I am certain about one thing, though. We live in a time when the phrase “Glad to hear you are negative” is, ironically, considered courteous. In these trying times, we should cherish the people always ready to bid us daily goodbyes, more than before. Every day they are bestowing us with a valuable gift - their time, to unconditionally display love and care, only because we are one of the very few main characters in their stories.
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